21 Beds Later

No idea where we are now! This isn't a direct result of travel fever but our current stop-off is known simultaneously as Periyar, Kumily and Thekkady. There is a 'pedantic' difference between the three and it is right by the border with Tamil Nadu. Given the ongoing conflict with the infamous dam (see last blog), we are hoping to be safely deposited this side of the border tomorrow and safely collected the other.

Wildlife rules in this place (whatever it is really called) but plays by its own elusive rules. On our 3 hour forest trek we didn't see much - the occasional leech (a true delight), bisons' footprints, grey monkeys, beehives and honeycombs as well as a huge wasp nest. However from our homestay we were treated with the sight of 5 big black langur monkeys feasting on trees and threatening to clamber on to our balcony for more feasting (and pilfering). Also tonight the streets were ablaze with a plague of giant flying ants; they only last a few hours and come out about once a year so weren't we the privileged ones?!

Prior to here it was Munnar - tea plantation land which is surrounded by exquisite landscapes, lakes and waterfalls. Apparently it produces better tea than Darjeeling and Assam put together but the best of the batch is exported. Next time you fancy a cuppa check the small print of the box to see if Munnar features.

Like everywhere in India just a handful of people seem to rule the roost. The biggest tea plantation in Munnar is owned by a company called Tata who also manufacture cars amongst other large scale ventures. The plantation is run a bit like John Lewis Plc as 97% of employees are shareholders however its previous colonial owners gave out salaries in special currency which meant that people didn't abscond. A clever ruse which comes to light only at their museum (one of oldest in India).

Our first forest trek here was a bit more revealing and dangerously slippery. Highlights included sightings of the deepest leopard scratches you could imagine on trees and tiger footprints in the mud. As a hill station it sure was ccccold at night so we whiled away one evening at a Kalarippayattu show. Dating back to the 12th Century this is a forerunner of martial arts and extremely exacting. The levels of fitness and dexterity needed are extraordinary - it involves gymnastics, poles, huge swords, bare hands and daggers. I couldn't turn down the offer to have a trial down in their pit afterwards and exchanged a few rusty Tai Chi tips for some sword slaying techniques. Maybe I will come back home fighting fit after all!! A bit dirtier, a bit lighter and very much looking forward to a plate of my mum's cooking.

A Taste Of Keralan Paradise

Picture yourself swinging gently in a hammock perfectly positioned by an exclusive fresh water lake, surrounded by lush greenery - a forest on one side, exotic plants, and spice and herb garden on the other. All of this leading straight on to a beautifully landscaped garden with an 'infinity' swimming pool and the most delicious succulent fruit literally falls off the trees. The only noise is birdsong and a slight breeze. This is the authentic and unspoilt Keralan experience - worlds apart from the hustle and bustle of all those Indian cities.

Three days ago we had a true celeb's welcome here at the Dewalokam homestay; their 12 friendly members of staff were lined up to greet us with jasmine garlands, fresh coconut water, mystical type of incense and we were anointed with a beautiful smelling potions - it was highly embarrassing and heart-warming all at once.

Being able to eat everything without even the slightest of concern here in India is a godsend in itself but here we have two dedicated chefs producing some of the best Indian fayre ever. In a coconut shell I have been catapulted into food heaven. Only the tastiest organic food and veg are readily available from Dewalokam's on-site farm - think pineapples, jack fruits, papayas, lychees (4 versions), coconut groves (of course) guava, custard apples (over 3 varieties), vanilla pods, coffee beans (unbelievably good), cocoa beans, fresh geese eggs, homemade goats cheese, bananas (at least 5 varieties), cinnamon, nutmeg, lemon grass, camphor and some of the rarest herbs with essential medicinal properties.

Every day I watch the cooking demos and get to help out too (a hindrance more like). Today it was banana leaf with around 20 different samples of food and spices; this morning we had cashew milkshake (fresh milk from the resident cows of course). yesterday it was 3 varieties of banana for breakfast and a freshly grilled red snapper with tender veg , followed by vermicelli with fresh cinnamon. I cannot recommend this homestay enough, the founders are a highly educated couple who are exceptionally helpful and just want it to be non-profit so that they can plough back monies into further agricultural development by planting more endangered trees and herbs, boosting the local economy by creating jobs and giving visitors a glimpse of unspoilt and traditional Keralan life. Since marketing isn't their forte, I volunteered to help - they now want me to consider working with them! If you or any of your friends like the sound of this taste of paradise then just let me know - and their soon to be revamped website is: www.dewalokam.com

Not much time for reflection though - so much to do and see. There's the nearby waterfall, the local village, bird spotting, fruit bat spotting, water rafting (serene version), rubber-tapping and I even tried some angling (caught a log of wood as the fish skillfully removed the worm without getting harmed - was kind of pleased about that!). We were also guests of honour at the local school, not realising they wanted us to deliver part of their assembly to nearly 500 children. After booking in for Ayurvedic treatments at the world renowned hospital (and then chickening out - too much oil and pummelling for me) I was sorely tempted to get involved in the local town's demonstration against an imminent water bomb. Every day there are peaceful demonstrations by school children since Keralan scientists maintain that the dam constructed nearly 200 years ago in the neighbouring state of Tamil Nadu needs renovation otherwise there is a risk of it flooding over 30% of this state. They believe it is an impending agricultural and tourist disaster which, at worst, could kill as many as 3.5m people. According to scientists from Tamil Nadu it is not necessary and the main parliament in Delhi just isn't making a decision - needless to say the bottom line is always about saving 'big bucks'.

In the meantime literally school by school, hundreds of impeccably well-disciplined children are taking to the streets, waving placards and singing in unison against this possible catastrophe. When one primary school caught sight of us they started clapping and it was really tempting to join in the demo - we know that would have secured local press ... and then national press... and then broadcast media... and then who knows.... an Indian slammer!! Probably a lot safer watching all of this from the outside.

All Change

Can't believe it is already the last month of 2011! 'Happy December Birthdays' to both my parents born either end of the month. 'Happy Birthday' to Vivienne (long suffering school friend and bridesmaid in 97). Before Xena and Torin (niece and nephew) chide me 'Happy Birthday' to Siggy (their dog) who is now officially even older than me.

Back in Fort Cochin 'Pearl of the Arabian Sea' it is hot, hot, hot. Keralan climes are soaring high in the 80s and with at least 50% humidity we have changed all our travel plans, seeking refuge up in the hill stations from tomorrow. Ayurvedic massages, yoga, general pampering, short treks and... healthy food... are definitely on my menu to recoup from all this Indian jetsetting.

Thankfully we found time to go to a Kathakali which is typical of Kerala and dates back to the 17th century. Translating as 'story play,' it used to go on for up to 9 hours and even today only the creme de la creme can cut it. If you want to perform it'll take 6 years just to learn about applying make up - the main characters gave us an intricate demo and it is easy to understand why.... It takes 6 years to learn the deft dancing and stylised gesticulations - they use face, eye, leg and hand muscles you would never know existed. I am sure my niece, Cerys would have loved it!

Also obligatory is the backwater cruise on a rice boat through a network of canals to see village life and a trip to the oldest Jewish synagogue in Asia (16th century). Despite getting through 4 homestays (avoiding lizards, mice, centipedes and tropical dampness amongst other things) Kerala has been enjoyable, let's see what the next chapter holds.

No more curry!!

I mean it!! If ever there was an Oliver Twist 'in reverse' it would be me right now. My new mantra is 'take back the curry, sir and remove all traces of its stench!!' No offence meant here but lofty plans to go on a cookery course over here might just be shelved.

Anyways the last days in Rajasthan flew by and before my jaded memory fails entirely, here a few sightseeing highlights. We visited the Umaid Bhawan Palace in Jodphur which was built in the late 1920s with the 'main' purpose to create 1,000s of jobs during a period of drought and famine. It is believed that many of the workers' ancestors had been recruited to build the likes of Fatephur Sikri - tragically no change in life conditions for your average Mr Patel then.

The then king loved us 'Britishers' and had basically rocked up to a firm of London architects commissioning them to build this palace - a lucky (if not surreal) card or what for the recipient. The place smacks of ego... and with the garishly 'best'/'most expensive' of everything including stunning pieces of art deco which were obviously de rigueur at the time. Again no offence meant here but I am not a monarchist and India is meant to be a republic now ...

Next stop was the 15th Century Ranakpur Jain temple carved from milky marble. I have never seen anything quite like it in the flesh, a forest of nearly 2,000 pillars and, yes, they are of course all hand-carved differently.

Udaipur was the strategic last stop to prepare us for a calmer period here in Kerala (down south - check out the map in the first blog entry). Considerably cleaner than it's Rajasthani sister cities, there is less jarring music, tooting, hassle for business, no farting camels or decorated elephants in the street - ok, the occasional gormless holy cow block but you can't have it all. The city palace (how many has that totted up to now!?) is apparently the largest in the state and literally spews up balconies, towers and cupolas. It is quite impossible to take in every room which tries to out-do the other.

When we arrived in Kerala so did the unusually bad weather - still humid but raining. Fort Kochin is reasonably interesting and 14 beds later (!) we are staying put for a while. I say that but we have changed accommodation 3 times since arriving (long story). It is proving difficult to remember hotel room numbers and not get out of bed wall-side. Anyway backwater trips and the beach seem very appealing weather notwithstanding.

In the words of my father in law, you either love India or hate it. To be totally honest I have had moments of both in equal measure. It is truly a place I will never forget and no point in tempting fate by wondering what more lies in store. Guess you might have to carry on reading for the next instalment!

Still on the rampage

First and foremost 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY GREG' that is for my brother....

Talk about famous last words... being fed and watered in Pushkar spelt the end - this time not for me but for Ros although it felt it was me again! We will be suing Lonely Planet AND Rough Guide for recommending the Little Tibet restaurant that's for sure. Who needs colonic irrigation when you have India (ok, a tad more expensive). Once the hotel dr had come and gone bedrest was prescribed which kicked our itinerary out the window. Still I performed my Florence Nightingale duties and all was soon well.

As to the city itself, allegedly Brahma (a high priest) dropped a lotus flower on the earth which then became Pushkar. A Hindu pilgrims city it has one of the world's few Brahma temples which is strategically located around the sacred man-made lake which in turn has rows of ghats and 100s of milky blue temples.

Day one we bravely climbed 320 steps to the Savitri temple and were rewarded with a breathtaking panorama and then sunset. No forewarning as to how dangerous it would be though - jumping monkeys notwithstanding we fortunately live to tell that tale.

Today we got to the blue and cubist style city that is Jodphur with its amazing Mehrangarh Fort. Although the forts are just getting bigger and better they are blurring into one - we are trying to remember that this one has 7 gates, is mainly coloured deep terracotta, has a latticed palace complex, network of courtylards and, frankly, is quite overwhelming to understand. Imagine visiting 2 British Museums in an hour at 85 degrees - and it is winter out here.

Weirdly enough memories of our unforgettable cinema trip in Jaipur keep following us (numero uno Hindu cinema in India, think large pastel meringue style). Posters of the flic 'Rockstar' are everywhere, tv stations boom out the music and the protagonist is clearly soaking up royalties for his car ads too.

Udaipur is tomorrow and then it is the end of our adventures in the land of the kings - btw Rajasthan is the largest state in India. See you down south as we search for well deserved r&r.

Rajasthan Rampage

Beneath the dirt, noise, flies, relatively dodgy tummy, hassle, pigs/goats/cows/dogs/donkeys etc in the roads I am enjoying this Rajasthan rampage - really!

Since leaving you at Varanasi for a 12 (in reality 13 1/2) hour train journey, we haven't stopped. Thankfully that train ride was better than the last one - despite our extra travelling companions ie cockroaches - because there were no rows of staring Indians but some friendly Ruskis instead (hey in an emergency I can miraculously muster up faded Russian).

Before reaching Rajasthan Agra was next on the hitlist and we kept on bumping into our new-found ex Soviet friends. A bit of a cliche but the Taj Mahal surpasses its reputation as a 'dream in marble' rather than wax lyrical about its breathtaking mastery - go see it yourself and marvel at one of the 7 Wonders of the World! The city itself is no great shakes and we didn't make it to the Fort (too many to take in) but stopped by Fatephur Sikiri which has a ghostly quality to it and has endless tales to tell.

Having been warned off about Jaipur, (called 'the city of pink' after having decked itself in this welcoming colour for a one-off visit by Prince Albert), it was a pleasant surprise to like it so much. You know you have arrived once you go through the pink gates and see one of its hallmarks, Hawa Mahal - palace of windows for royal ladies. A 5 storeyed, semi octagonal monument made of pink sandstone. The city is surrounded by rugged hills on 3 sides each crowned with a fort, each studded with grand palaces, mansions and landscaped gardens. Amber Fort is the biggie and its palace accommodates the now 15 year old king (bet he is playing DS behind those shutters!). The fort and palace comprise an endless stream of beautifully preserved buildings the most memorable being the hall for the then raj's women. It has head to toe encrusted mirrors that apparently twinkle like stars by candlelight.

Indian history seems to comprise of a line of vanglorious rajes who spend between 12 to 22 years building huge cities (such as Fatephur Sikiri and Amber Fort) only to leave them a few years later to build even bigger ones locally such as Agra and Jaipur. More for the tourist to see though.... as they commissioned the best architects in the world, had glass chandeliers imported from Bohemia, furniture from China, glass from Belgium and gems from... well everywhere everywhere. As well as wreaking havoc with war, these rajes had it all mapped out with favourite wives, not so favourite ones, harems and secret passageways to bedrooms. They played the equivalent of ludo with real women as pawns, held court within yards of their boudoirs and had endless slaves and eunuchs attending to their every whims. Sounds familiar or what!

So now we are in Pushkar, more to follow once we are fed and watered though.

City of Light

So back to our first 12 hour train experience from Darjeeling to Varanasi ... what can I say but it was very.... long. The loos were... unacceptably dirty (a roll up your trouser job whilst holding your nose). The food was.... too spicy even by the locals... and everyone just stared at us. Strangely enough the train arrived 40 minutes early (how can that be??? Everything is late in India!!) so we nearly missed our 1am stop whilst our whole train carriage had deteriorated into a cacophony of snoring, belching and passing wind!!


Varanasi is extraordinary. Yes the traffic is insane, yes cow dung abounds and those bovines are everywhere - they have a particular affection for sitting in the roads and looking beningly on at the traffic. This Venice of India provides a sensory overload ever night with the fire puja, a ceremonial dedication to the River Ganges, Sun, Lord Shiva, Fire and the whole universe. Performed by the local young Brahmin priests, think large quantities of incense smoke, loud clanging bells, chanting, boats, hundreds of people and there you have it in a spiritual nutshell. It is quite something. After the puja itself large scale cremations take place and families take their lost loved ones on their final journey by boat across the Ganges. It sounds gory but it isn't - and as dawn breaks the city seems magical.

If you are wondering what else Varanasi offers apart from the allure of the Ghats themselves, then tourist haunts include a rich array of temples - from Jain to Buddhist (Buddha gave his first ever sermon at Sarnath); and from Hindu to churches. Benares university is also located here and is apparently the best in India, let's not forget Muslim quarters and of course he endless labyrinth of tiny old streets blocked up with the odd cow or two, jangling music and people plying their various trades.


You either love the place or hate it. Either way you can't forget it. Tonight our journey continues by train (can't wait) on to Agra. See you then....